"More like, Mary had a little jam," he sobs into the microphone at what will be his last concert ever. It was a line our story's main character wished he could take back, now so more than ever. It' had occurred to him that he had indeed fucked this up, along with something even more grave.
Not long after his set ended the police arrived, rushed the stage and apprehended a young man whose legal birth name was Timothy Abenhauser. Everyone at the concert knew him as Dirty Swish.
Timothy, unfortunately for him, had not yet heard the latest Prosek-Applepie collaboration, which warns us to not fuck things up, and had misfiled his taxes; which is illegal.