So a few weeks back when everyone else was at Coachella, I was stuck home in San Francisco... not bitter in the slightest for missing out on all the desert festivities. I'll let the sarcasm really sink in for that one.

Well, what's a girl to do except get tickets to whatever was going on around here, which just so happened to be sold-out CSS at the Mezzanine. I'm Brazilian, so I have to rep my hood... plus, I've seen them a couple of times, and they make my little body jump.

Unfortunately, I wasn't amped for going out that night; I was too busy being upset about not going down to Palm Springs with a gaggle of my friends. So, I did the normal pouting routine: barely got dressed, opted to be designated driver so I could get home early and function the following day with a hydrated body and alcohol-free blood. Well, well, well... little did I know the surprise I was in for.

HOTTUB opened for CSS. Apparently I've been living under a rock for the past three years, because I had no idea who they were and yet everyone that I blabbed and gushed to about them in the days following the show knew them. I know I shouldn't curse, because curses are really just placeholders for feelings that can be more properly articulated, but HOLY FUCKING FUCK MY FACE!

This quintet has been making music since 2006, when producer Jason Stinnett (aka Jaysonik) and vocalist Nicole Feliciano (aka Coco Machete) joined forces, later inviting Jennifer Ackerman (aka Loli PoP) and Amber Griffin-Royal (aka Ambr33zy) on vocals, and Mark Gregory (aka Funky Finger) on keyboards.

And man, have you ever seen these five Oaklanders live? You have got to be kidding me. Let me begin by telling you not a single soul, I literally mean a single soul, was standing still in the venue from start to finish. The things they do on stage are unexplainable and need to be seen by all eyes. If you like the thought of girls spitting water into each other's mouths, then know that's only the tip of the iceberg. They rhyme so beautifully and organically that it will make you question whether they share the same DNA.

Style: amazing. Energy: amazing. Entertainment level: ahhhmazing!

Word on the street is they have a new music video dropping in May, leading me to assume we can expect many tour dates in the near future (which excites me way too much for words).

Dear HOTTUB, here's a little rap for the three lead ladies!

HOTTUB

Backrub

Which one do I want to fuck?

Cuz there's three

And they're all great

Making playa hatuuurs hate!

Tracks by Hottub