I'm busy re-evaluating my life because I'll never look as good in a dress as that snake does. Gender norms are bogging me down. It even came up in my last review.
If snakes can wear dresses, and women too, then why must I always have to wear pants, or shorts. We men need some excitement in our lives. Which is why I've dedicated the rest of my life to promoting skorts for men.
For those of you who don't know what skorts are, its a trendy combination of a short pant and skirt.
We at the Indie Shuffle have created an initiative designed to eradicate pantaloon boredom in men globally. It's called Skortformen; our founder Jason is already quite keen on them.