Marquis Hawkes

This is sexier than Emily Ratajkowski's left breast... is that an appropriate way to start this review? It says nothing about anything musical, but you don't know Emily's breasts -- they could be highly attuned when it comes to house music. Marquis Hawkes is a type of German that is so unintentionally sexy, in such a tame norm-core-esque way, that when you hear a track like "Can't Find A Reason," you think Fabio himself actually produced it. And when you find out it was Marquis Hawkes, you kind of rethink sexuality. While I don't claim to be any sort of expert on all things sexual, I can promise you that if you ever heard this track in a club, and just happened to be wearing your favorite glue-on moustache, every woman in the vicinity would literally lunge at you like a cat. You've been warned.